An actual conversation with my husband

"Hey Lisa, when you go into town this afternoon can you pick me up another pair of work gloves. The cow ate mine this morning."

"What do you mean the cow ate your gloves? You mean she chewed them up?"

"No. I mean the cow ate my gloves. You know. Ate. As in, she dined on them."

"Right, I get that, but where are they? Are they still out there?"

"Woman, you never listen. I'm telling you she ate them. They are gone. They're in her belly like the big guy on Austin Powers."

"Do you mean to tell me that Moo swallowed them??"

"Exactly. My God this is taking forever."

"But Eddie, they were leather! Isn't that just wrong?"

"Well I really don't think she cares Lisa. Just buy me another pair would you?"

"Well ok, but can she digest them? Won't they........"

"Oh, yeah. If you happen to see them in a cow patty, grab them. They were good gloves."

Not so much.