We're still moving but it's going to be a few days yet. Poor little gal, she just didn't believe me when I said things technical seem to break whenever I'm involved. After the weekend she's had - she's a believer now!

Remember when I said I'd done an interview on behalf of LiveOps? Well that article was published in Business Week last week! It's the August 20th issues and there's a blurp towards the end about me. I thought the reporter's angle was really interesting and enjoyed the story. You can still read it here if you're interested http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/07_34/b4047426.htm?chan=search

Jennifer came up today and we rode for several hours this morning. Oh my, is there anything better than just getting on your horse and taking off? I can't think of it, if there is. Silver did just wonderful for me and even gave a good gallop through the neighbor's pear orchard. The mornings are cool now and it was simply wonderful. Well, not for my butt. Holy toledo they don't make comfortable saddles do they?! I'm thinking of getting one of those huge gel pads to put on mine, although that would probably look rather stupid.

But the best news of late is that while we were having a pool party with Ed's sister's family we laid out plans for a Labor Day get-together out here at the farm. Ed's thrilled because he knows the house will get cleaned. And to make it even better, his youngest daughter stopped by his shop today and said all three of my stepkids are coming! With their kids!! Oh my goodness, family, in-laws, kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews - it's going to be just wonderful! I'll try to remember to take the lensecap off the camera and get some great pictures of everyone. I said I'll try but with my luck, you just never know what can go wrong. I do have some great pictures and stories to go along but I just hate to upload anything and cause any problems when we move.

Well keep checking in - hopefully we'll be moved in a couple more days.

We're moving!



I've had all of blogger I can take and a wonderful dear poor unsuspecting soul has agreed to help us move to a new webhost at less than 1/10 our current rate - which being the cheapskate I am, made me happy happy. So I'll be working behind the scenes for the next week or year trying to copy and download stuff (like I know what the hell I'm doing) and that poor lady will be answering my "how long would it take to do this?" "is it possible to change that thingy?" emails. When we return we'll look basically the same but slightly different and I'll be back in the arms of my one true love - Wordpress. Ahhh, it will be wonderful to use Wordpress again. Blogger makes me want to drink. Heavily. Or kill something.

I really can screw up a two car parade. Totally.

The other day I made a comment online to a friend that I was going to make gravy over the weekend and she promptly asked me why the hell I was making a stockpot full of brown gravy and just how many potatoes would I need to use up all that gravy. I explained that I was making graaaaaaaavvvvvy, as in, Italian style. That's what real Italians call red sauce, you know, like over pasta. Granted, I'm not Italian but rather I'm Indian. Now, to the best of my knowledge, Indians weren't known for their gravy making, but this little Indian learned from a pro and I can make a mean gravy. Anyway, I keep seeing all these blogs with tutorials and cooking sessions, lots of pics, and as you know, I aspire to be a cool blogger so I decided to grab the camera and picture the entire process.

I began by completely cleaning the entire only part of the kitchen that would be in the picture. I tried to be all artsy with the photos but I was getting hungry and Ed was seriously making fun of me the entire time. Seven hours, two sinkfuls of dishes, thousands of "it'll be ready this evening, GET OUT of the pot," and 47 pictures later, I had a masterpiece - in my camera as well as on the dinner table. It was so good that Ed even said he'd consider putting another clothesline for me. It's that good. So Sunday morning I finish working and start uploading the pics when Blogger took a nap. Again. I tried everything, shrank them, uploaded them another site and linked, you name it, every time I got more than two in the dang post it totally went dead. I was going to just upload them to the Picasa web albums but I have to thoroughly explain each picture and the captions just aren't big enough. So here I sit, waiting to bring you the most fabulous recipe you've ever had and I can't. I'll keep working on it. I will post it. I will! {think Daniel Day Lewis in "Last of the Mohicans"}

In the meantime, Jennifer came out today bright and early this morning so we could visit and ride. Oh my goodness, Jennifer was so right when she said that part of my issues with Silver was that she needed a buddy along. She was just the most well-mannered girl the entire ride! Never once questioned my request and was such a lady! Well except for when she tried to sniff Cartman's butt, but I think they just do that you know. We rode around the section, over a bridge, through the ditches, and even had a farmer drive by in his huge tractor - they both did fantastic and it was so great to have someone along. We've decided to ride several times a week and I'd like to work up to riding with Vincent behind me so we could pick him up from school. The kids would just love that! The only problem with learning to ride is, uh, well, are there any exercises I can do? My 40 yr. old parts are definitely not in riding condition!

And I did my shopping yesterday rather than today so I could spend the day with Jennifer. I usually go when the store is the least crowded like late Sunday afternoon or early weekday mornings because I know it's inconvenient to make people wait behind me when I have an inch high stack of coupons. So Ed insists I buy a whole $10 of stuff that's not on the List which just irritated the crap outta me, but I love him and he built me a clothesline so I did it, anyway I fill the cart and even splurged on steaks for this evening because they were 50% plus I had a coupon for $3.00 off the meat department. As the cashier finishes I give her my plus cart and a lady comes behind me with like four items and she's totally in a hurry. Well on these registers you can't start scanning the coupons until the card discounts are taken so it takes like forever for the first $75 to come off and the woman starts getting pissed. She complains to the cashier and asks me what in the world have I done to cause this holdup. I just smiled and said that the computer was giving me the discounts. And then I hand the cashier the coupons and this woman literally rolls her eyes and says, "You're kidding me? NOW I have to wait for all those coupons? I'm in a hurry here!" The poor cashier apologized but there's really no way to speed it up. Naturally three coupons beeped and that required a key turn which pissed the lady off even more. Finally the cashier finished, gave me the total, printed my receipt (which was nearly 3' long!) and says very loudly, "You did great this week Mrs. Hammond - you saved $130 which was over 50%!" I'm telling you this woman's eyes lit up and she says, "HOW much did she just save?" So the cashier tells her again and then this woman is all smiles to me telling me how amazing that is and asked if I could show her how on earth I did that. And typical, she said that my List was just based off the regular sales ad so she wondered why a membership at The Grocery Game would be any better but seemed quite surprised when I told her that of the nearly 100 items on my List that week, only about 30 were advertised sales from the flyer - the rest were unadvertised sales which I wouldn't have known about with the List! Wonder if she'll sign up for the $1 trial?

Almost time to go!

Moo and Sparky came down to see them off.

He's devasted to be leaving me. You can see that right?


Jim had to grab him and hold him back so I could get this one.

Good riddance. You getting my grain now?

Can you find the hook with Vincent on it?

Got it!



Are you almost done taking my picture?

Seriously are you done? And I'm so NOT talking to that girl.

See ya mom!

I can still go in Kenny's room without embarassing him. Darren hardly waived at me through the classroom door so no picture of him. He's too old for that stuff - so he says.

Yesterday was torture the kids day housecleaning, er, rather toyroom cleaning day. I swear how can three boys literally destroy a room like that? I called Ed to tell him that I'm an absolute failure as a wife and mother for letting their designated room become such a disaster but he pointed out that you kind of have to turn to get into that room and I am really very good at not turning but simply averting my eyes so that I can say, "Huh? Nope, haven't been in there. The boys tell me it's clean though." Listening to your three young boys, most definitely NOT a good thing.

Cleaning a toyroom is not for the faint of heart. You must be heartless or at least cover your heart in a thick coating of steel. Send the children away so they're not witness to your cruelty. I locked mine in the barn and handcuffed them to a stall. I wanted them far, far away because I just knew they'd be able to distinguish the individual sounds of their favorite broken toy and would attempt a mutiny. I braced them for the inevitable, "This has to be done guys. Be brave little ones. Be brave." I withstood their screams and insults, "Mom's throwing away ALL our stuff including the TV, couch, and EVERYTHING!" "Let's call the police. I'll bet it's against the law to throw away your kids' stuff!" That one kinda scared me because I could totally see Kenny dialing 911 and after having the police show up on our doorstep because a neighbor said when we mowed we got GRASS on his DRIVEWAY, I am deathly afraid of the police showing up. Not only that but I'm reserving my "Honey the police are here" for when Kenny turns teenager.

I began.

Armed with three trash bags I started the sorting process - burnable, keep, dumpster (Ed takes a bag into work sometimes containing glass, cans, or non burnable items) (Crap, his boss probably just read that. Hope that's OK Jeff!) I quickly realized that if I sorted every item this was going to take several days so I gave that up on favor of the swooshing/dump method - I swooshed it all in the center and dumped it into bags. Seriously, I did this. I removed all the tables, couch cushions (there's my tape dispenser!), quickly grabbed a few of the game boy games and good books, then dumped every last bit of it. I think I counted several hundred broken Happy Meal Toys, enough gum wrappers to supply a gang of high school girls, and many unknown substances that were quite frightening.

Seven bags later (no, you read that right) I was ready to start cleaning. A gallon of cleaner later and the room just sparkles. The walls were washed, cowebs removed, gum scraped up, all that really fun stuff. I even dusted the little vent thingy's on the back of the TV. I mean, I was rocking! I unlocked the boys and gave in to their demands for bread and water then let them in, prepared for the onslaught. They loved it. They thanked me profusely and were pleased to see that their very favorite toys of all time were saved. And they promised me they will keep it clean. Forever. Yeah, right.

I have an excuse for everything.

Since today is shopping day, I got all gussied up put in my contacts and realized yet again that Ed's right about something - the state of our house, namely cobwebs. See, for 11 (or 12?) years I've been telling him that because I see poorly with my glasses I just simply don't see those nasty little suckers and believe me, this is fundamentally true. I still have nightmares about the time Ed got out a big huge light and took me over to a normally dark corner. Oh the horror! I swear you'd think the Munster's live here. So this morning I ran upstairs to grab something and the light was shining just right..... oh. my. God. Somebody really needs to clean these cobwebs out. Then I realized that it is really part of my job since I'm home.

I went and to my contacts out.

And then I went shopping where I learned along the way that I have single handedly changed the agriculture community in this area. No really, I have. I am a force to be reckoned with. Those of you who know me probably already knew that, but now so do many others. You've seen me complain about the hay situation 'round these parts now since early spring. Well, I've been calling around to all the farmers on my list constantly asking for hay updates. "Have you got it cut?" "Did you plant more?" "Are you going to have anymore this year at all?" I do this frequently. So imagine my delight when I noticed seven, that's SEVEN, newly planted hay fields sprouting up along the 10 mile stretch of road into town. Wow! I had no idea the power of my persuassion! Even Ed joined in the adulation. "Hey hon, did you notice that field just the other side of the S-curve has hay coming up? That's new this year too!" I am sooo good! I mean, half those farmers I probably never even called but they just heard about the nagging woman at the crazy farm who calls all the time fussing about no hay and that alone was enough to spur them into action. At least that's my story. And I'm sticking to it.

You know how I just bragged how wonderful my husband is? Scratch that. Here's a snipit from an actual conversation.



Him: I had to by a tool today.

Me: Oh? What'd you have to get?

Him: A compression gauge.

Me: What's that?

Him: It's a gauge.

Me: I understand that dear, but what does it do?

Him: It checks the compression. On the engine.

Me: Oh. And it's important?

Him: Well only if you want the compression checked! (And I'm going to ASSume we do.)

Now I realize you're totally thinking, that's not that bad. But let me just share this with you. Today, just a short time ago, I innocently asked how the work on the mower was coming and I mean to tell you. There was something about differentials, adjustments, belts, and all I know is there's freaking nasty thick black grease all over the dang garage. And another I know is that the dang thing aint working. The saddest part is that he looks at me in earnest like he thinks I understand what he's saying. People we've been married for 11 years (or 12?) and I've learned to just nod and say, "Oh my" with my own look of earnest. All the while I'm thinking, give me a timeframe baby, that's all I want from you right now. But I can't SAY that, no ladies, you know I'm right.

Poor guy, this after he spent the entire morning (well, about 2 hours) trimming horses hooves and getting stepped on. I should go make him some brownies.

OK people, poor Peggy is trying to help me out here but I just keep coming up against one obstacle after another. Apparently my site designer gal has my blog custom designed and using the blogging inerds from blogger but hosted on my own domain but pointed... well frankly I don't understand the pointing thing.

I don't like blogger, but I'd like to.

I want to separate out my links like Peggy over at Hidden Haven did. It looks neat and I want to be in the neato blogger club.

Have you ever used an indoor grill? I know the George Foreman grills are popular but I'm here to tell you that the Hamilton Beach Indoor Grill is fantabulous. You simply must get one. The top and bottom are both removable and nonstick so you just give a quick wash to clean. Would you believe we're on our second one? The other one survived about 6 years of near daily use and finally went to the grave. We do chicken breasts, burgers, brats, pork chops, you name it and it works just wonderfully. At about $45 you can't go wrong. Go. Grill. Be happy.

Blog of the week...... The Pioneer Woman Cooks!

If you've never visit this little gal's site, git yer hiney over there. In the world that is The Kitchen she's right up there with Martha. Pictures, tutorials, and wit all rolled into one package. Grab a cuppa and enjoy.

Forget diamonds or flowers, Ed knows the real way to my heart - he built me a clothesline. Now that may not sounds like a big deal to most people, but trust me, it's major 'round here. You see, there are few things Ed hates worse than to see clothes hanging on a clothesline and we lived in our previous home for nearly four years with nary a post in the ground to even attempt a start at one - he's simply turned a deaf ear to my nagging. Three years of living here on the farm and I wasn't making much progress with him here either. I totally gave up hope of getting the traditional line - you know, two tree-like posts with several lines strung between them - but he finally conceded to use a wasted area between several trees that formed kind of a triangle. Because of the trees the boys don't play there, we can't drive there, and it's not really a walkthrough space to get anywhere. So he used fencing wire that we already had and a little gear looking thing so I can tighten up. He just went around the triangle of trees and viola! A really handy line where I can set my table up in the center of the triangle and hang at least three loads of laundry.

Be still my heart. He's so good isn't he?

This is Chocolate (boarder horse leaving us soon) and Silver, our new horse.

Here's Smoke and Fire, our two young'uns. No matter how many piles of hay I put out, they always eat together. You can see their wonderful summer bloom right now.

This is Cartman, the horse Jennifer boards with us. He's a mustang and built so different than the quarterhorses. All the other horses have mates they'll share food with, except Cartman. He must have his own pile and everyone respects this.

Here's a great picture of Jennifer riding Silver from last weekend.

Yes, that's dirt. And no, it's not mine. Some people {cough, cough, Ed, cough, cough} thought it was mine even though they'd already been told the story of Vincent grabbing the camera for MANY self-portraits.

I just made a web album of the kids. Go check it out. The link is at the right under A Family Album or click here since Blogrolling is taking a nap http://picasaweb.google.com/CrazyCowCountryFarm

An apology of sorts. It seems my email has been screwed up the past few weeks. I guess some of what I sent was put into spam folders on the receiving end - not sure why, that's never happened before. And some emails that were sent to me just plain never got here. I know they upgraded or something about a week ago and I was without email for a couple days but they told me it was fixed. I do know that my MIL said a relative sent me an email through the site last week I think and I never received that so there may be others as well. I tell ya, I'm this close to biting the bullet and using yahoomail. And I'm even closer to switching from a blogger blog back to Wordpress. I absolutely detest these blogger things, even though I've got my own stylesheet, I'm just so spoiled with Wordpress. My only problem is I haven't a clue how to turn this formated style into a Wordpress format. So if anyone's looking for something to do and you know how, please for the love of all that's holy, EMAIL ME! I can pay you with eggs, manure wonderful garden compost, or perhaps even money.

I did add a ton of links over in the blogrolling section (another gripe I have about blogger - I need sections over there) and you'll notice LiveOps is there. I get a lot of emails and questions about signing up to work at home and that's where I'd advise you start. I had another blog that I was going to use as kind of a "work at home resource" page and I may pull some posts from there over to here so I don't have to retype them.

To every season, turn, turn, turn. There is a reason, ......

I don't know about you but my seasons don't jive with the turn of the earth but rather I just one day realize that, it's changed, somethings changed and we've begun a new season. The anxiety and anticipation make me all tingly with a little bit of nervousness too. And that's where I'm at today.

Last night Ed mentioned that it was dusk about 30 minutes earlier than usual. It's happening, summer's ending and fall will be here. At even the thought of fall my heart starts palpitating. Cool weather will soon be here, leaves will turn into jewels and fall, Ed will clear brush and start many bonfires, livestock will begin fluffing out, jackets and blankets need washed, and the windows can open once again. Fall is my favorite season and the one where I feel most alive. All the holiday preparations and family gatherings are just so exciting. It's a logistical nightmare for Ed's family to drive the hour out to the farm but usually a smoked ham, fine spread, and cheesecake entices them. I throw a little whining in there as well for good measure - it usually works to get them all out here at least once through the season. I can't wait.

A year ago I thought I was losing my husband. He's still here with us and he's healthy, sometimes I can't believe it. I remember those feelings and tears like it was yesterday and I'm so grateful each day to see Ed getting better, feeling stronger, and working around the farm. Although he is back to annoying the crap out of me often. Guess I'll live with it. :)

The kids start school next week. Next. Week. My babies, what will I do without my babies? I know I keep whining about it, but it's just SUCH a life-changing experience! I've decided to quit focusing on "losing my babies" and focus on "Wow! I've got hours in the day to work and not be interrupted." I'll keep you posted on how well that works for me.

Winter's coming and Ed's healthy. It's time to plan the winter indoor projects. Ed's always worked inside during the winter and that's when floors get replaced, painting is done, and all those home maintenance projects on the back burner move to the front. The last two winters he spent so very ill and I was working anyway so this year will be the first that we're both up to the task. I've got paint to pick out, vinyl for the bathroom floor, and lists to make.

Halloween is just over two months away. Halloween always start the season. It's time to plan baking, soup making, any canning for the winter, and look for holiday ideas. Costumes, straw men, spider webs strung across the porch - it's all right around the corner.

Next spring we'll have our first garden on the farm. We have to till, mix, and prepare the soil for overwintering so it's ready in the spring. Every year I say we'll have a garden and every year we don't get around to it. This year Ed has promised to get the sides built (we use raised beds) and fence the sucker (no animals allowed - our biggest obstacle out here). I will hold him to that promise even if I have to scare the life out of him by making a move to use his big saw table, or table saw, whatever that really big blade thingy is. All I know is anytime I make like I'm going to fire it up, he jumps right into action.

Most people probably don't start thinking of Christmas or having enough wood for the winter during the month of August, but I've always been just a tad "off" so this is exactly what I'm thinking about right now. Summer holds no excitement for me whatsoever. It's simply a dull lifeless season that I must endure to get the center of the cinnamon roll that is...... fall.

OK, it looks like I've been really busy today, but trust me, I haven't. I had another blog last year where I posted recipes, work at home tips, and other such tidbits but it's hosting bill is coming due and I think I'm going to let it go. So I grabbed some of the posts then added them here. If you notice "Loopy" in them it's because that's kind of my online nickname - those of you who know me aren't a bit surprised. I noticed they're formatting with weird punctuation so I'm trying to go through them to correct it. And the order is messed up, the timing of the posts, so I need to re-order them. Oh good gravy, I need a drink!

I'm just about finished going through the archives so there may be more changes yet today.

Go Iron All The Way

My dear friend on the west coast has never learned about iron skillets. I won't tell you her name because that would be an indescretion, but I will tell you that it starts with an R and we've known each other for years. Yes, that's her. Anyway, the poor dear needs some help so I’ve compiled a fantabulous post explaining it all to her so she can be more like me.

The first thing to know is that basically any heavy iron skillet will do - they're pretty much all the same wherever you buy them. I'm confident R will be buying hers at Target. They sell "pre-seasoned" skillets now but chances are, you'll end up with a gray one and that's what you want. There's several methods to doing this - the correct, by-the-book way and then The Loopy Way. You choose. Here's what Loopy would do.

Pre-heat your oven to 500' for about 15 minutes so that it's hot. Use the hottest tap water you have (only water!) and scrub the entire skillet, inside and out, with a steel wool pad or green scratchie. You need to remove the protective coating the factory applied. Pour about 1 tabl. of vegetable oil in the center of the skill and spread it all over with a paper towel. Be sure to get the handle, bottom, and the inside. Add more oil if needed. Put the skillet in the oven and cook it for about 1/2 hour. Yes, it will probably smoke. Turn off the oven after 1/2 hour and leave the skillet in there overnight. In the morning, do it all again. The following day, do it again. After three or four times it will start to turn black and you'll need less oil. After that, you can wipe it thoroughly with a towel and use. If it's seasoned correctly, it will be practically non-stick and you could even make pancakes in it - I do it all the time.

Use mostly high heat when cooking with these skillets to preheat them and turn it down once you add the food if you need to. NEVER wash them with soap! If something does stick in them, scrape it out the best you can, put it on a burner turned to high and add 1/2 cup of water. Once the water boils, scrape the bottom clean (it will come up instantly, clean all your pans this way) and then rinse under the hottest water WITHOUT soap. Dry the skillet thoroughly, put it over a burner on high for a few minutes, add a few drops of oil, rub them into the skillet with a paper towel, let it cool right on the burner. You can treat grill pans, dutch ovens, and all cast iron like this for years of enjoyment.

Here's a link to Lodge, a great cast iron cookware company.
http://www.lodgemfg.com/

Nacho Cassarole

It just doesn't get better than this. After eating this you will lay around unable to move for several hours and the following morning, you'll regret it. However, it's fantabulous and you’ll thank me.

Two cans FF refried beans
Yellow corn tortilla chips (the only time I don't recommend On The Border Chips)
1 jar hot salsa (preferably homemade, I'll teach you how next summer)
Cheddar (sharp and mild) and mozz. cheese
Jalepenos, chopped

Heat the beans and salsa in a non-stick pan over low heat. While this is warming up, add about a half inch layer of chips into the bottom of your largest casserole dish - mine's a 12" x 15" and about 2.5" deep, like an oversized cake pan. Spread the chips out and then use your hands to flatten and crush them. You don't want them whole, you want them crushed and leveled out so they act as a crust. Pour the bean mixture over the chips evenly and then begin adding the cheese. I'm warning you now, it's a LOT of cheese. You want to put the mild first and we're talking a LAYER of cheese. Then the sharp. Sprinkle the chopped jalepenos. Add the mozz. last and by this time you should be at the very top edge of your dish. Put this in the oven at 350' for about 30 minutes or until the sides are bubbly. At this point you can continue baking for another 20 minutes or so or you can pop it under the broiler for 5 minutes until that mozz. begins to brown. You've got to let this set for about 10 minutes like lasagne or you'll end up with a mess. Well, it's kind of a mess anyway, but whatever. Cut it into large pieces and carefully lift out with a spatula.

Sing my praises and sing them loudly so I can hear.

Loaded Brownies

I told my friend that I'd made loaded brownies for dessert this evening and she wondered what in the world I was talking about. I let her know that those recipes on the back of the box (cakes and brownies are way better from mixes - never have figured out a good scratch recipe) are simply guidelines to be tossed to the side all willy nilly. So here's what I do:

1 box of the basic fudgey brownie mix
Mix the batter according to the box, adding just a touch more water
Toss in a couple handfuls of instant oats
Stir in the last 1/3 of the jar of crunchy peanut butter
Add a handful of chocolate chips
Bake as directed

If you really want to indulge, which I think I will this evening, put a slice of the brownie on a plate while it's still warm, top it with ice cream, and then pour over some warmed up coconut pecan frosting from a can. It'll put 10 lbs directly on your thighs, but you can make it up with salads for lunch the rest of the week.

On Planning

Please tell me you faithfully keep your planner up-to-date? The fundamental rule for staying at home, working from home, and maintaining an orderly household is a foundation of organization. Me? I love planners and organizers so much that I've tried about 20-30 during the past 12 years, including making my own. I've got different covers, different tabs, 3 ring, 7 ring, spiral, purchased pages, spreadsheet created pages, you name it, I've BTDT. Without a doubt the most all-inclusive purchased planner I've come across is The Family Organizer by Amy Knapp.

There's a two-page spread of the entire month in calender format and then pages that follow for each week during that month. With the book open on a weekly section you’ve got a running grocery list, meal list for the entire week, about two inches for each day of the week to post more detail of activities, and then a To-Do list for the week. The back has the necessary phone number section, blank pages, and a number of other preprinted pages. There's also a couple pages full of stickers to place on your dates for "no school" days, "half day", "doctor visit", and a number of other categories. I thought they were a little cheesey to start with but after using them, I really like them. Since it's a nice wide spiral binding you can open it completely flat and then even wrap it around itself so you just have 1/2 page to work with. Wow, that came across complicated and I'm not sure why. It's a spiral, you know what I mean. LOL

If you're patient enough to make your own custom planner, well nothing purchased will ever top that because you know what you need. But if you're looking for a good planner to pick up, I highly recommend this one. It retails for $14.99 but I think I snagged it at Walmart (note to self: add this to Target list) for around $12.00.

Working at Home

If you'd told me six months ago that I would be able to quit Walmart and make not only enough to cover my part time job there but actually MORE than I was making as an assistant manager (minus daycare and fuel) well I would have put you in contact with my broker to buy my swampland in Arizona. If you're like me, you like real figures and since I'm all about real-ness, here's mine.

I grossed $38,000 per year at Walmart and I paid for family coverage health insurance ($2,000 deductible and a bunch of other $1,000 add on charges for a bunch of stuff with a 20% co-pay on Rx — totally NOT great insurance) while claiming zero on income withholding. Bi-weekly I brought home $1,007.69 so we'll call that $2,000. I realize there's two extra checks per year in there but there's also a proportionate amount of my two largest payments coming out of them, namely daycare and fuel, so they weren't really extra. Here's what it looked like:

$2,000 each month
- 440.00 Vincent daycare
- 250.00 After school program for Darren and Kenny
- 300.00 My fuel
$1010.00 Net after just daycare and fuel during school

The after school program for the boys would be significantly higher during holidays and school in-service days when they attended all day so that figure is conservative and more likely to be closer to $300.00 each month. And that's just during the school months. During summer it gets even better:

$2,000 each month
- 440.00 Vincent daycare
- 600.00 Summer program Darren and Kenny
- 200.00 Activity fees, field trips, simming lessons, etc
- 300.00 My fuel
$460.00 Net PER MONTH after daycare and fuel

Yeah that's right, I was working 50-65 hours each week and suffering through a two hour commute each day for a whopping hundred something a week. When I look at the cold hard truth of the matter, now that I've had a decent night's sleep, well to be honest my head hurts. Granted, there's some other factors here - Vincent will be in half day kindy next year, Darren will be able to stay home in a few years, and my salary would have gone up each spring. But bottom line ... aint that sad? And that's not even counting all the extra expenses of me working like my lunches out because of no time to make something at home. Even at $3.00 or less those add up quickly and when I worked 18-20 hr days I'd have two or even three meals at the store. Ed did all the cooking (if you could call it that) which consisted of primarily processed ready meals, frozen pizza, and chicken nuggets. You can only imagine the state of our food budget, not to mention our health. If I really had the time and several bottles of wine along with a good friend to hold the tissue I'll bet I could go through the previous year's checks and find that not only did I not make any money, I'm willing to place a $20 that in fact it COST me to work. Hell in the stress level alone I paid dearly.

Now you can imagine why going to part-time evening cashiering wasn't much of a step down for me. I basically didn't lose any money but got to have much less stress - although I still thought the company was evil and wanted to find another job. When I heard of at home agents running their own business with a call center in a home office I figured it was a scam. After researching and hanging out at several sites I learned that it had possibilities. I signed up with http://www.liveops.com/ and several weeks later began to take my certification quizes. LiveOps routes incoming calls for infommerials so this isn't telemarketing or cold-calling.
My first checks were small as I was only spending a few hours on the weekends taking calls - the busiest time for agents, even busier than the prime time of third shift. After a weekend off from Walmart I wondered just what kind of potential there was for weekend income and bumped up my hours to about six that Saturday and Sunday. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that with bonuses I made $70 Saturday and $97 Sunday. Not only that, I was sitting in my pj's having lunch with my family on my breaks and kept up with the laundry those days as well. I never had to leave the house and I nearly doubled my pay from Walmart. This was a Good Thing.

After a few months I realized that there's no limit to the potential of earning money with LiveOps or a number of other WAH companies so I quit Walmart (for a lot of reasons, obviously). Ed obtained insurance from his employer which actually provides a normal policy for less money than Walmarts (our monthly Rx bill alone went from $360 to $20). You can see why my goal of $800 each month is set because if I made that I would be averaging my salary from Walmart. I've tried several different strategies for my scheduling to maintain a high call volume while meeting the needs of my family, home, and farm. I cannot believe how amazing this is and I thank my stars I found LiveOps every morning - as I'm making my 20 second commute in my robe with my cup of coffee preparing to work.

Now there are issues at ANY place you work, and LiveOps is not immune. First and foremost I'm not an employee, I'm a contractor and will be provided with a 1099 which means I need to file self-employment taxes. In addition, I had to accept these facts:

- We had to install and maintain a completely separate phone line for LiveOps work
- I paid $30.00 for my own background check
- There are no paid benefits at all like vacation or sick time
- If I don't work, I don't get paid - even if I lose electricity
- There can be absolutely no background noise at all - kids, dogs, doorbells, nothing
- My call volume is determined by my ranking which means attendance, sales, and a host of other factors. If I don't perform I won't get call volume and will have few calls.

On the other hand:
- I am totally 100% in charge of my schedule - third shift this week, a week off, early morning hours next week, 20 this week, 50 next week, all that is up to ME
- No daycare whatsoever, I'm home for my family
- I work one hour before everyone wakes up then get them off to work and school. Vincent watches a movie or cartoons while I work another two hours and bing, bang I'm done for the day.
- I work 4-5 hours each Saturday and 6-7 each Sunday because of bonuses and call volume. I've doubled my Walmart net as an assistant doing this, even after self-employment taxes.
Increasing just a small amount each day and a couple hours on the weekends brought me nearly $900 this pay period. That's for TWO WEEKS, not four. Christmas is paid for, with cash and some to spare.
- I get to say "I'm a secret agent" and it’s pretty much true. How totally cool is that?
During low call volume I surf, play games, or figure bills so I'm not wasting my time
The lowest I made was $9.00 once. Once. I average $13/hr and often make $18/hr.

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, go to LiveOps and click the "become an agent" link on the homepage. Although I totally recommend LiveOps, there are other at home agent opportunties out there. Here's a few:

http://www.workathomeagent.com/
http://alpineaccess.com/external/index.html

If you do some searches, chances are you'll find others. Good luck!

All Purpose Meat Mix

I LOOOOOVE once a month cooking and can't wait to get back into it. Since I'm working extra hours right now and have a few other projects I'm in the middle of I decided to build my frozen assets slowly this month and start a full OAMC in January. I emptied the deep freeze last week since it was nearly empty anyway, did the defrost, and cleaned it. From that point on I've tripled every meal we've made and also cooked up 20 pounds of mashed potatoes (Ed's absolute favorite - he totally worships me when I make these). Anyway, I went to make a taco meat and didn't have the right ingredients so I just made one up as I went along and had the foresight to write it down. This was hands down the best mix I've ever had and honey, I’ve tried them from all the OAMC books.

Mexican Meat Mix
4 lbs hamburger
3 onions, chopped
5 cloves garlic, minced
2-3 cans fat free refried beans (I used 3)
2 cans Rotel
1 can enchilada sauce
1 small can tomatoe sauce
Hefty shakes of chili powder, paprika, oregano, S&P, and a little cayenne

Cook the hamburger, onion, and garlic in a large stock pot. Add everything else and cook for about 30 minutes.

I used it for mexican casserole, burritos, taco filling, and even a dip as a snack. It was absolutely awesome!

I don't do pork chops very often because they are to be eaten battered, fried, and smothered in gravy. This does not bode well for one's thighs. Or ass. There are times, however, when a fine pork chop can be heavenly - mainly when cooked correctly and the package was on sale for $1.18/lb. A Good Thing indeed.

Pork Chops
6 Bone in lean chops, salt and peppered
6 C white sauce (use lowfat if you must) made with 1/2 water and 1/2 milk
Worcestershire
Dash of cajun or other spicy seasoning
Couple shakes of garlic
Tabl. or so of dried, minced onion

Brown the chops in a heavy skillet with just enough oil to keep them from sticking. You're not cooking them, just browning. And you’re using high heat. For this recipe the smoke alarm shouldn’t go off - that’s when we blacken something (another day). Put the chops into a large baking dish and cover with the white sauce (you've added the remaining ingredients to the sauce in the pan already because you read my mind - YOU'RE GOOD!). Cover with foil and bake 1.5 hrs at 350'. If these are thick chops add another 30-45 minutes.

If you serve potatoes you've got a fantabulous gravy and if not then you've got the beginnings of a great soup. As I do, for tomorrow. Try it. You'll love it. And you'll thank me. Well, except for R. She never thanks me.

Ed had his 6 month checkup with Dr. Ewy on Friday and she couldn't have been more thrilled with his progress! He has some very minor and small spots on his legs which are only irritating, not painful so we'll work on those. But the best news is that his blood pressure is completely back to normal! So.... I was right! Happens so rarely. I just knew that the high blood pressure was a combination of outside/medical stresses and not a permanent condition - I'm so happy to learn the confirmation.

I worked on the chicken coop over the weekend and other than pouring the floor, it's ready. We rode Silver on Saturday and enjoyed an entire afternoon on the patio with Jennifer again. Her husband was out of town so she just hung out for the day which was wonderful. Sunday was spent mowing and cleaning up the house we still have in Newton and watching our second favorite show, Ice Road Truckers. We're just hooked on it.

I'm taking the boys and friends to the McPherson Water Park today. One of those really wonderful places that has shallow pools with sprinklers and cool stuff for the littles along with slides, lazy river, and deeper areas for the older ones. This time I'll remember my suit because it's going to be 100' today and I'm going in!

This morning we found two little kittens with their eyes already open. And then Kenny told me that the reason the halloween cat still looks pregnant is because they're not her's - they're Mama Ash's. Oh boy. Don't tell Ed but we're going to have more kittens in another week or so!

Enrollment is this evening or tomorrow morning. I can't believe it.

Boring, boring, boring.

The end is near.....

Summer's coming to an end. You know, I really hate summer. I shouldn't, but I do. We've had so much to do around here that I don't feel like I really enjoyed it much and trying to spread out my work shifts in 1/2 hour increments seems to take up the whole day so I can't do as much with the boys as I'd like. But I took note from some friends today and just did it. I woke up early and got the laundry going then organized a little of the downstairs and finished my chores so I could work the phones. No sooner had I finished working than Jennifer, our boarder, arrived and we sat on the patio drinking ice water and visited for about an hour - nothing better than chatting with a friend.

Now, since I ran into an old neighbor at the store last night I didn't finish my shopping gig and needed to get that done today. I made a quick deal with the boys that if they cooperated with me finishing the shopping check I would take them to the pool. Sounds like a plan right? Well leave it to me to screw up a two car parade - I left my suit at home. So we arrive at the free pool (which is no longer free, screw up number two - thank heavens I had some cash) and I figure I'll just sit on the side of the wade pool watching Vincent. But it was hot. And the water looked cool. And all the kids were smiling. And those little ones had the squishy water-filled sponge balls. So, yeah, I jumped in. Didn't soak myself or anything but I just figured, "So what?" I got wet, splashed with all the kids and had a soaking drive home. It was a blast!

I made BBQ beef sandwiches in the crockpot and didn't get much of a rise from Ed so I don't think he's too thrilled with that menu. I may sweeten the deal with brownies but I always end up eating half the pan which is so not good. I'll have to re-think.

The boys start school on the 16th which seems SO early! Don't you remember staring like after Labor Day? Well they are all excited and Vincent's finally stopped wearing his full backpack around the house. At least once a day he asks me, "So mom, what are you going to do without any Boogie's (his nick) at home to help you with chores?" I don't know, I really don't. I've had a child at my side for 11 years and I'm just freaking out about this! On the one hand I'm thrilled at the thought of working nonstop for several hours, getting errands done without 20 bathroom trips, and all that. But then. Well. What will I do? It will just be..... strange. Really, really strange. Now, he's only going half day for the first 9 weeks, maybe 18 and will be full day after that so we're only talking about 3 hours or so. I don't think it will really hit me until he goes all day. And I really really hope I'm not one of those mothers that cries the first day of schoo while at the school but somehow, I'm pretty sure I'll need some kleenex. If I can just stop myself from wailing I should be ok.

Ugh, that damn cow is mooing at the gate waiting for me. I swear, she's such a diva.

Here's Darren yesterday at Uncle RB's and Aunt Betty's. You can see the rest of the pics here http://picasaweb.google.com/CrazyCowCountryFarm I hope - if I did that correctly. I was going to upload them directly to the blog but this one pic took like 4 minutes and that's just too much time. When you view the album, move your mouse over the thumbnails and you'll see the caption explaining it. You can also double click the pic to get it larger. I haven't quite mastered Picasa but it seems fairly easy.

Ed came upstairs Sat. evening to tell me his mom had called and Maureen and Jeri from Memphis (they'd come to KS for the funeral) were stopping by to have a break and so Betty was throwing a sandwich spread. Since I'd missed the funeral I was very glad to hear that I could meet the ladies and we quickly re-arranged the day so we could attend. Can you believe I remembered to take the lense cap off the camera and got some pics? Well, of course, I forgot to turn it on though and then the batteries died, but hey - I got some pics at least! Unfortunately I didn't get any of Jeri because the batteries died. So the afternoon was spent visiting with far-away relatives and hearing all their stories. "Remember that time....... " "That's not how it went, it was like this....... " I'm telling you, those are the best days aren't they? Listening to the stories, we just love it. And I just had to take those pics of Uncle RB's garages because they just go on and on! He's got more stuff in those garages than most people have in their whole house!

Now, time for a confession. I was wrong. Once. Well, it may actually be the second time, but at any rate, I was wrong. I blogged about http://www.thegrocerygame.com/ about a year ago when I tried it and really didn't think it was worth the expense ($10.00 bi-monthly). The "listmakers" maintain databases of current coupons and match them each week with your "list store" (Dillons, in my area) to get the item on sale and with a coupon. They also maintain a database of rock bottom, fairly good, and "phantom" (just a teaser, NOT the best sale price) sales for that particular store. The list in my area is ready on Sunday and valid through Tuesday. Now, when I tried the game I had to do my shopping on Friday's when I ran errands and that was problem number one. The second problem was that I had weekly "needs" and bought those anyway while only getting a few things from the list - totally didn't work for me. This time around I finally realized the proper way to play the "game" and good gravy, I am loving it! I have these items that I need each week: coke, milk, bananas. These items I will purchase no matter the price but what I finally realized is the rest of my shopping comes only from the list and only things I normally purchase anyway. Well that was the defining moment! Last week I saved nearly 50% (over $120.00) and this week I saved over $110.00!

I know some of you are saying two things...... 1. I'm buying things I wouldn't normally buy just to "save" - totally wrong. With the exception of two frozen pies last week ($1.40 each and I can't make a pie for that!) I have only bought things we normally use. 2. Walmart (Aldi's, etc) is still cheaper. WRONG! Last week I got namebrand (I can't disclose the brand names) cleaning supplies for $.38 each. That's not a typo! I just paid less than a quarter for those canned tomatoes used in cheese dip and I got the really good pens for $.50/pack yesterday. Those are just a few of the items.

I now you're thinking, "I could do that myself" or "I don't have time for couponing" but that's the beauty of The List! All you do is clip Sunday's coupons and print the list. That's it. No tracking sales, no tracking prices, just a few minutes each week and you're good to go. See, the List Makers know that most products are on 12 week cycles for sales. If peanut butter is on sale right now, it will probably not be on sale for another 10-12 weeks. So Gamers buy enough for 12 weeks - whether that's 1 jar or 20 jars. If it's on the list then it's stock up time with a rock bottom price. Once I got the hang of that aspect, I realized how valuable The List is! Your cart can look a little funny -- yesterday I loaded up on feminine products, peanut butter, batteries, crackers, and protein bars (last week was cleaning supplies) -- but the savings far outweigh the strange looks. You can read more by clicking the link above and you can also sign up for a trial membership for just $1. Now the reason I bring this up........

Yesterday, if there was still a shred of doubt left in any of Ed's relatives mind's that I'm certifiable, I'm sure I removed it. I went to the gathering in a separate car because I needed to shop on the way home so I was telling the ladies about The Grocery Game and I whipped out the coupon binder. My poor MIL was so shocked her jaw hit the floor. I have this three ring binder filled with photo pages that have three 4"x6" slots and I have hundreds of coupons sorted, stacked, and in their labeled slot. It may have been just a little too much for the poor ladies. When people see that extent of anal retentiveness you really have to ease them in and I probably rushed them. My bad. Now, if I could just get my office to look that organized......

Well it's a dreary, rainy Monday and I've stalled doing my chores long enough. It starting raining yesterday while I was shopping (and left the windows down in Ed's car, naturally) and hasn't stopped. We're flooded AGAIN. The pond overflowed into the river and I can't even wade out to Moo's barn. The horses have crowded into two stalls (Whyyyyyyy? There are FOUR in there!) and won't even come out. I don't blame them though and after cleaning the stalls, I just left the barn open for them. Today will be spent cleaning and doing laundry. And hoping we don't lose electricity.

I had a friend laugh at my blog several months ago and said he was probably the only person who read the dang thing. Got me curious. Every couple of months I check the backdoor for the site statistics and, if all the stars are aligned correctly and the moon's in the seventh sun, I don't break the whole damn site in the process. Last time I completely screwed up two of the pages and they'll probably never be the same. But it's always an interesting way to spend a half hour.

Apparently someone in New Zeland visits often, Japan, Africa (but I know who that is), and I know Amelia is in Canada, but what's funny, what makes me laugh out loud are the search results that pull up this site. Some poor unsuspecting soul landed here after searching for "crazy wild farm girls" - you know they were disappointed! And believe me, I should have NEVER put on the blog that ditty about sheath cleaning on the geldings! Lesson learned. The reason I mention this is because Ed just called to tell me they're back from the funeral and he learned today that some of his relatives in Memphis read this blog! Hey y'all! Here's a shout out to all Ed's family! I think that's just wonderful that you guys stop by here. I'll try to post some pictures of the boys in the next few days, if I can remember to take the lense cap off.

Ed has a wonderful family that comes mostly from the hills of Arkansas and we all tease everyone about being hillfolk. Lord help you if you get his mother talking about her younger years and the way her grandma did something back then. That accent starts going and Ed just eggs her on calling her a hillbilly. Even though it's all in good fun, she just gets spitting mad at him! All the rest of us just laugh, but for some reason, he has so much fun getting under his mama's skin. Poor woman, she was in a car with him most of the day and I imagine her nerves are just plain shot.

I let Ed talk me in to letting the boys stay up until he gets home. And I let the boys talk me in to giving them a pie for dessert. And then I let the horses talk me in to just one more treat for each. When on earth did I become such a pushover?

I did forget to mention that I spent the afternoon yesterday getting interviewed by a reporter for a weekly magazine talking about LiveOps and working from home. The story is about.... well I don't think I'm supposed to mention that right now but it's supposed to run this summer and if they use anything from me I'll get a copy. So I'll keep you posted. It really is amazing isn't it? The reporter just flat out did not believe me when I told him I make more now working part time from home that I did as a Manager when you factor in fuel and daycare. I even gave him the figures and offered him copies of my invoices for pay - wonder if he'll take me up on that? Hopefully I got him convinced, I can be persuasive every once in a while.

We went to the rodeo last Friday and the boys had a blast. Kenny, a.k.a. He Who Is Obsessed With Bulls, was in awe of the bullriders and decided that he really wants to give it a try when he's older. Overall the little fair/rodeo was really cool, I mean where else but a rural county fair can you hear the announcement, "Josh Duerksen, you need to get yer hiney back over there - yer mama's looking for you and she's mad as a hornet."

The remainder of the weekend was spent sealing the deal for a horse we obtained. We've both been wanting to ride and so we were just talking to a lady about her horse for sale when she mentioned she would trade for car work or hay (hell, EVERYONE will trade for hay right now but there's none to be had!). The timing was perfect since one of our boarders left their trailer here for another month for Ed to weld. We went and picked her up then spent the weekend at the auction picking up the remaining tack we needed. Silver looks all white from a few feet away but up close you see little gray "flybites" all over her. She is simply beautiful and we love riding her. I am so impressed with her training and soundness too. I was steering her to the side by pulling the reins out with my arms when I realized she was fighting that terribly. Then I accidently let the other rein touch her neck and she turned on a dime where I was sending her! She neck reins just beautifully and I decided that trying to change the way a horse has been doing something for 15 yrs is just stupid. The only thing I'm having difficulty with is she tends to crowd me while I lead her. A few taps with a crop though and she steps away, I just have to remember to be consistent. We're all so excited to have her here and go riding!

And oh my goodness, Ed called yesterday and said he'd really like to have BLT's for supper but I reminded him that everyone in the free world knows you simply can't eat them without homegrown tomatoes. Well his boss had brought a whole sack to him at work!! Oh they were wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Is there anything better than tomatoes in the summer? I'm running into the store today for a cucumber so I can make greek salad and will make a loaf of bread to enjoy it.

The past week I've been training for my new job, I think I'll just call it "the shopping job" even though it's not mystery shopping or anything like that. My boss is leaving the country in the next few weeks so I won't have her help and so I'm trying to get as proficient as possible before she goes. But between training for that, caring for all the horses, chores on the farm, phone calls with two companies (and I'm training for a third one), and back-to-school activities - well it's just been crazy 'round here! The boys and I went through every single article of clothing they have so I could inventory and make a needs list (I have a friend in California that just had a mild heart attack at the thought of a children's clothing inventory - breathe honey, you'll be ok) and surprisingly we're in good shape. We need socks and underwear, jeans for two of them, winter shirts for Darren, and a coat for Vincent. Not back. And we've already got their supplies - Vincent wears the backpack containing ALL of his supplies most of the day now. He's really so excited to go!

Ed just left for western Kansas with his mother and brother for the funeral of his great uncle. They've got a full day of driving ahead of them. I think I'm going to see if I can get the tiller fired up today whlie he's gone and work on a project. I doubt if I can figure out how to get it running but, hey, if I can run a chainsaw, surely I can figure out a mini-tiller!

I see Moo at her gate patiently waiting on me along with five of the horses in the corral. Better get my chores done.

Poor Moo. She was happy at first to be back in her pasture and not have those crazy horses running too close to her..... but she has realized she can't get into the oat pasture anytime she wants and she's letting us know she aint happy. How does she do this, you ask? Well, it's simply. Every time a human walks outside she goes to the gate and moos. When a human walks into the pasture to feed her, she moos. And follows you, closely. And nudges you. And Moos some more. I almost feel sorry for her, but not too much. With the chickens getting picked off little by little (the dang girls have taken to roosting in TREES and we can't get them back into the coop!) we have lost the cleanup crew for around the house. Much as we love Moo, it's not enough to entice me to dodge cow patties if you know what I mean.

The goats are in time out as well. We've gotten used to them laying all over the patio and trying to get into the garage even though they've got several acres of their favorite treat out back, hedge trees, but Ed saw them venture into the pasture north of us planted in milo. Can't have that. So they're locked up as well. It's odd - the house is almost normal with all the animals locked up! We can't have that, something crazy will happen soon I'm sure.

We're getting ready for a big weekend. My new boss will be here tomorrow for some further training and we'll work together all afternoon. Then the McPherson County Rodeo is Friday night and the boys are so excited to go. Kenny insists on wearing red because he wants to see how angry he can make a bull. Saturday the lady who bought Midnight (we sold him a few weeks ago to a lady stationed at Fort Riley) will be here to spend the afternoon and maybe go with us to Bud's auction. Then Saturday evening she's having her new horse trailer delivered here. I started a list for Ed's garage board but I think it would overwhelm him if I added too much. We need to finish getting the chicken coop ready for chickens again, mow, finish the corral fence, mow, trim Smoke's hooves, mow, build the hay feeder at the back of the barn, mow, and he's doing a side job on a truck for a friend. And we'll probably mow some more! It's not easy mowing the back 8 acres with the riding lawn mower and I just keep thinking that one day we'll get a tractor and the time will be...... well pretty much cut in about a quarter. When the front 8 acre pasture needs mowed this fall I think I'll see if someone with a tractor would do it. Much as I love to mow, several full days of it will sour you right quick.

And good gravy, school is starting in just three weeks! How on earth am I going to make it when all three of those little guys get on the bus? I'm sure I'll just stand there crying. Vincent is so ready though and he's just so excited.

As usual, a week fly's by and it's either complete chaos or just same old, same old. This week has been pretty busy as the rains have let up. We are mowing every chance we get during the cool mornings and evenings then staying shut up in the house with the a/c during the heat of the day. Summer has arrived. Temps are up in the 90's and will climb to the 100's probably in the next week or so. Thank heavens for one thing - the mosquitos will die!

The vet was here Monday and he gelded Fire and Midnight. Ed took the day off so he could be here as well and get Fire's hooves trimmed while he was sedated. We were both out there the whole time and it was really interesting. The vet was wonderful and really took his time to get the boys comfortable before giving the shots to knock them out. Then we just waited and talked calmly to them for a few minutes before, WHAM, they sunk to the ground. Midnight did way better on his landed and just kind of plopped down. Fire? Well both men tried to lay him down but ended up running with him as he kind of rolled a few times - he just fights everything. I sat at their heads holding the upper leg for the vet and Ed got to work. Within about 15 minutes they started raising their head and then were up and walking. We left them in the corral with Smoke for about an hour to watch their bleeding and walking abilities. After that, we turned them out into the good pasture with all the others and they trotted off.

We put Cinnamon and her two kids out back with all the others and, amazingly, it couldn't have gone better - they're all getting along great. So you know what that means, yup, Moo's back in her front pasture. We led her out there the other day and then shoo'ed Sparky in with her. I think she's happy to be back in there.

Oh. My. God.

Word of advice to those more dimwitted than I (I'm sure this number is very close to zero) do no, I repeat, do not allow pet cows to birth and then move in to your chicken coop.

I will be unavailable for the day. Week. Hell, probably two weeks. It's bad in there people. Bad.

That was so sweet of you, Amelia, to ask about Moo and Sparky. :) They are doing quite well. Sparky is starting to graze just a little, although she mostly shakes her head wondering what that green stuff is and why she should be eating it. She hangs with mama pretty close except when Moo sneaks into the oatfield. Ah yes, we have a bad cow. She has somehow learned to wiggle her tiny little body (ha!) through the five-wire fence and help herself to the oat crop. Now we have no problem with her eating it mind you, it's the dang going in and out through the wires that have us irritated! Ed mentioned today that he'll just make a gate for her tomorrow and show her wear she can safely enter/exit at will.

Needless to say, after several months of a pregnant cow living (and birthing!) in the coop - well it aint pretty in there. In fact Ed mumbled something about a match and a gallon of gasoline. Our three boarder horses in the front pasture can't be put out back with the others but they'll be leaving the end of the month as their owners are transferring to Louisiana. Once those three vacate Moo and Sparky will go into that pasture and I'll..... well I have no idea what I'll do to the coop but I'll figure something out to get it back to a chicken coop and hopefully matches won't be involved.

Poor mama hen - she's lost 13 of her chicks over the past week and is down to just two of them. She decided to stop roosting with them in the coop (can't say I blame her) and took to going under one of the cars. Something's been feasting on them each night and I noticed this morning it's just the two little chicks now. Next time a hen gets broody and hatches some we're going to keep them in the coop - we'd like to have a crew of layers just stay in the coop and pen area for easy egg collection and still let the remaining out ranging for cleanup.

Brian and Kim sold their horses so we only have our three in the back with Cartman, the gelding from Arizona. Cartman's finally adjusted to the fly biting and doesn't look like a horse with hives any longer! With just the four of them out there they are grazing like there's no tomorrow and we've taken to putting out just a handful of hay each day for them. I swear Fire gets fatter ever day! Unfortunately, for him, we've scheduled his gelding next week along with Midnight's. The vet will come out for a farm call for vaccinations and surgery. I guess they just lay a tarp down and knock 'em out - 10 minutes later it's done. Won't this be interesting? I can't decide if I want to watch or not seeings how I normally faint dead at the sight of blood. We'll just have to see on that.

All the ladies I know online are doing those "Day In The Life" pictorials where you take many many pictures throughout a 24 hour period of just your normal everyday routine. I keep thinking I should do that but then I remember - I have the most boring life! Really, it would just be pics of me shoveling shit, feeding animals (including three on summer break from school), and cleaning the kitchen. Again. And then again. Totally boring.

Oh, and just as a follow up, Ed did finish the back of the corral fence today for me. Yay for him. :) I finally broke down and turned on the air conditioner yesterday when the house hit 85' at noon. Just couldn't take it any longer and I'm glad I did as it's nearing the 100's this week. Hopefully the rains have stopped though and we can get on with the worst of the summer. The sooner it hits, the sooner it's over and my favorite season of all begins - fall.

Don't you hate it when life throws a huge pile at you all at once? That's what happened to us. We've been dealing with some personal issues that are deeply personal so I really can't post here about them. We've had some business issues with boarding that relate to a customer who turned out to be an asshole so I can't really post about that. I have a new work at home opportunity but signed a confidentiality clause so I can't really post about that. So...... that leaves, what? The weather? Well discussing the weather will only send me into a tirade about the rain coming back. Other than making our fall/winter list of improvements we've pretty much just been trying to stay afloat - literally.

Summer's here!

You know all those happy ice-filled-chests-everywhere commercials with everyone outside staying cool and beating the heat? That don't happen 'round here. Summer hits and everyone just turns into slugs. The horses keep moving to find the best shade and Moo won't even come out of the chicken coop. I've offered to put the sprinkler out for the boys so maybe they'll take me up on it this afternoon. Truth be told, I'm the one wanting to play in the sprinkler. We've managed to hold off turning the a/c on but I'm not sure we'll make it through the week. When it's over 85' inside for the majority of the day I usually cave in and flip the switch. And then memories of my own childhood flood in with mom saying, "Shut the door, the air conditioner's on!" flash into my head. Three boys on a farm, it aint easy keeping the cool inside. I guess I should be thrilled, there have been years when we had the a/c going in May!

Our mama hen has only lost one baby chick so she's still walking around with 14. It's amazing to watch her show them where to eat, decide when they should nap, and round them up for a drink. They're too big to all get under her now so they often nap while sitting on her back - it's so cute! I'll see if I can get some pictures.

Well that was a much needed break. I wish I could say that I treated myself to spa-like activities, lounging around while painting my nails but...... no such luck.

Ed has worked every night on replacing our "livestock safe" (HA! yeah right - they lied) field fencing with smart looking 4 wire for the feeding paddock. As is always the case, what seems like a couple hours of work drags into weeks of evening devotion. First we had to dig out a post that was over FOUR FEET in the ground. After much banging with a car, digging, cursing, sweating, and kicking we finally just carried the old swingset over to the hole to serve as a hoist and yanked the sucker out with a come-along. Then we had to rehash the "gate" discussion. Remember my lovely arial view of the farm where I plotted out the new pasture fencing and gate system leading to the feeding paddock? Yeah well apparently Ed didn't either. Now, more than ever, I'm convinced that I must keep a tight handle on my man whenever he starts a project lest a disaster be the result. Whatever part of "Honey, the back part of the fence should be done first because then I can contain or separate the horses in the corral - the sides can wait" he didn't understand is beyond me. As I'm mowing the back pasture (mowed right through two of Midnight's halters - bad horse) he proudly tells me that he's just about done with the first side of the 4-wire fence on the paddock. Silly me, didn't even think about asking him if he meant the back side. I'm envisioning much needed corraling space for my convenience and when I arrived several hours later I see him on the front side finishing up. I know, I know, you're asking "why did he start there?" just like I did. His answer? This is rich. This is from the man who arranged boxes in our moving van all facing the same way because it looked better. "Well, this way the side you see as you approach is already done. So it looks better." Never mind. He just doesn't get it.

Then he tells me the next side he's going to do which is into the newly planted pasture and I innocently ask where the gate will be. He looks shocked and tells me there won't be a gate. He points towards the main gate and tells me there's a perfectly fine gate already there. Keep in mind the feeding paddock is adjacent to the pasture and the main gate for the pasture is about halfway down our driveway.

"Well yes honey, there surely is. However, with anywhere from 6-13 horses needing to get into that pasture, which is 2 inches from where we're standing, I'll have to individually lead them out of the paddock, across the house field, down the driveway, open the gate, put them in, close and lock the gate, walk back to rinse and repeat. Not only that, but we have no water access in the pasture so I expect I'll need to bring them back every hour for water."

And he just stands there looking at me going, "Well...... yeah."

I continued, "As opposed, just as a suggestion, that perhaps I walk into the paddock where you and I are and......... just open a gate?" I was this close, this close, to my head exploding. I was as delicate as I could be but after about 45 minutes he changed his mind.

The manure pile outside the barn has been moved. Don't ask. You don't want to know. Seriously, you don't want to.

Remember the something getting into the barn and killing my chickens? Yeah, well that something appears able to move a 50 lb container full of catfood, drag it across the entire barn, open it, and eat half the contents. I'm afraid to even go there wondering what this thing is. Obviously I need to move the container into the locked grain room.

We had a new boarder horse arrive via transportation truck last Friday and the poor guy is covered in bumps from an allergic reaction to either fly bites or the fly spray. I feel so awful for him. He's a mustang and it's really interesting how differently he's built than the quarterhorses on the property.

Moo and Sparky are just doing great. Sparky runs around each evening trying to get away from mom and inspect everything, loves chasing chickens, but Moo calls her back. Moo is back to her normal spoiled diva self and follows me around looking for scratches when I'm trying to work. That's one spoiled cow.

Burn piles are huge, trash piles are huger, and the scrap metal found on the property pile is getting hugest. The wheat harvest has started and all the farmers are working late into the evening. We fall asleep by the hum of their combines. There's nothing prettier than a field getting cut - well actually there is, a field of HAY getting cut. Seeing all the beautiful round bales of hay in the field is really and awesome site. I just get discouraged because very little of it is for sale and what is has maintained the highest rates in record. We're currently paying about $125-150/ton here in the center of hay country. That's just unbelievable! And every poor guy putting "good hay for sale, $50 for large bale" in the paper tells me not only is he sold out but his phone's ringing of the hook. I've resorted to stopping by and asking farmers if they're selling. They're not. So we were smart to plant our own along with the oats right? You'd think! And you'd be wrong.

We walked the field yesterday to check the oats and it's just beautiful. So I do some talking and searching wondering when we can just "open the gate" and turn the horses out for an afternoon. "Oh nooooooo, young lady (I did like being called young though since I'm 40 now). You've got yourself a lush pasture now and you don't want those horses out there more than about 30 minutes a day until they acclimate to it." Oh. My. God. So now, because the gate isn't installed yet, I really WILL be catching them one by one and yada yada yada as I walk beside them to hand graze each one in 30 minute intervals.

Ed just laughed.

I wanted to bop him upside the head.

I'll be offline for about a week - major outdoor projects going on around here!

Well chalk one up for Ed.

His idea of using the corral panels to create stalls in the barn was simply fantastic! Not only is graining time 100% smoother and less traumatic, but I discovered an unexpected bonus just now. These panels have two "loops" on them where a chained bolt attaches. You place the panels end to end and slide the bolt through. So he attached the ones at the walls with eye bolts and then created three 10'x10' stalls but had the foresight to make the end one 20' (two panels) long. So we end up with something like this...

Obviously this isn't to scale and it really does all end up nice and stright.

This arrangement works because Bull gets the larger stall and should we need to give them shelter we can have several in there. But here's where it gets interesting. Today is overcast with rain off and on but I wanted to work with Fire and really miss having that round pen. Wouldn't matter because the round pen is exposed to the rain so there goes that idea. So I realized that these are all portable and swing easily. With a few simple moves and less than a minute I opened the back stall up and ended up with this.....






which gave me a 20'x20' area to work in! And should I need more space I could even open up the next stall and have a 30'x20' area! I won't be able to lunge or anything but I can groom them and work on simple things. With the dirt floors there's no distraction of grass and with the tops of the dutch doors open Fire could still see his buddies. We just had a very enjoyable 30 minute session in out of the rain! The more I work with him the more he seems to want to learn and I just couldn't be happier. I think after we geld him next month he'll get even more cooperative but he's so much better at focusing on me and trying to please. Today he learned to move his hindquarters away from me no matter where I was standing, to come with a hand movement, and to back up when I say "back". I'm just thrilled with his progress. Yesterday I even gave him a bath by myself and he stood totally still the entire time. I'm sure it helped that it was 90' and the water felt great, but considering a few short weeks ago he was trying to go up and over Brian at just the sound of the water, I'd say he's coming along quickly.

Sparky is finally venturing out of the coop on her own and Moo has learned that she can graze a distance away from her without a lion coming to attack. She still hasn't gone away as far as her favorite mud hole or the pond, but she's doing just wonderful.

The hens are in trouble. After they saw the one hen hatch the 15 chicks there's about 4 that decided to go broody. They keep talking all the other hens into laying on there clutches, which leaves us with about 5 eggs a day. And one clutch is now at about 30 eggs!

Ed has spent the weekend doing cosmetic things to the outside around the house - he cleared away a trellis that was probably 40 yrs. old and cut out metal posts that were just sticking willy nilly in the ground all over the place. It's amazing what a difference clearing out some of that stuff and trimming tree limbs can make! The patio area looks so much better now.

Heaven help us, the boys have discovered climbing. Climbing HIGH stuff. Trees, basketball goals, you name it. I hope there isn't a broken arm in our near future.

Today is a rainy dreary day and I'm going to do some housecleaning before our BBQ porkchop dinner and the evening show. Tonight's the last night of Sopranos so we'll be tuning in for that.

After a day in the barn stall Moo was ready to be let OUT. I led her out and then shoo'd Sparky along where she followed Moo right back into the coop. We're not sure Moo even came out of the coop yesterday except for a drink as I filled her water bucket. Since the flies are out in force I wanted to get her sprayed today and called her out so I could get some fly spray on her. Then I went in and led Sparky out. Once outside Sparky took off running with Jack close behind. She fell into every tree, tripped over a chicken, and ran smack into every fence while mama ate her grain and watched. After a few minutes Moo decided enough was enough and got between Jack and Sparky. Jack tasted defeat and headed to the patio - we felt sorry for him so we let the goats out and he started butting heads with Spot then ran off for a game of chase. Sparky continued to run, kick, and inspect every crevice of every thing with Moo slowly following behind her. Moo just looks positively svelte in her postpartum state.

I didn't post details of the other afternoon because.... well several reasons. Mostly I feel so inadequate and clueless around the farm that I'm sure most people get quite a chuckle at my mishaps. My biggest fear is that I will screw up big. Big. And end up damaging an animal. Goats are one thing, but caring for other people's horses and getting into cattle is just a whole other world and one I freely admit knowing nothing about. When I realized Sparky hadn't nursed I started calling around for advice. The vet told me to just milk Moo and feed the calf, online articles stated getting colostrum in her was most important even if it meant using a tube, and Ed said one way or another I had to get something in her tummy before we lost her.

When I went in the coop to check them, they were at opposite ends and Moo had quit calling to her at all. Sparky was just laying limp and showed no energy whatsoever. I ran to town for colostrum and a bottle which I figured Sparky would run up to me and eagerly devour in no time then we could deal with getting the nursing thing figured out. Wrong. I guess it's fairly common that some calves just don't know how or won't nurse which leaves the owner with two choices, let it die or intervene. When Sparky refused to take the nipple I worked with her for nearly an hour before I realized it was probably futile -- I'd gotten maybe a tablespoon in her. So I called Ed and told him this may be a lost cause. Ed always makes everything sound so simple, "No, you can't give up. One way or another you've got to get that bottle into her or get her nursing." I tried to explain that this tiny little calf weighs about 60-70 lbs and can nearly swing her head in a full circle a la Linda Blair to get away from me. Feeding the calf was not that simple. I think I kept hoping he would just take the afternoon off to come home and deal with this. Not so much.

Ed decided to put the situation into terms I'd understand. "Lisa, that calf is potentially worth $30,000 or more to us. I don't care what you have to do, you get some nutrition in her. Tie her up, sit on the floor and have the boys hold her hooves, feed her with a syringe squirting in her mouth, or whatever but you feed that calf." He was right. You hope to get 10 calves or more from a heifer so each one of her calves will be $3,000 worth of meat in the freezer as steers, or even more is she has a breeding heifer. Those terms, I could understand. This calf was getting fed.

The coop wasn't comfortable and stunk so I figured I'd get her in the barn. I can load, unload, move, and carry 50 lb bags of grain like nobody's business. It's nothing for me to manage 500 lbs. before lunch but let me tell you, a 70 lb. squirming calf without handles is not that easy to carry! I did get them into the barn and after about 30 minutes I had about half the bottle into her before she actually started looking for it and taking it on her own. So then I led her to Moo and squirted Moo's udder. That's when I realized Moo was kicking her and backing out of reach. Sparky gave up and came back to the bottle. Great. Solve one problem and then you get another! So I backed Moo into the corner and hollered for the boys to get me a bucket of grain with armfuls of hay to get Moo standing still. Finally, after several tries and yelps from Moo she stood still and let Sparky nurse. Once she got a taste from mama, there was no stopping her.

At this point I was an hour late with lunch for the horses, the 60 mph wind gusts had put an inch of dirt (not dust, I'm talking dirt) over every surface of my house, nothing was set out for dinner, breakfast dishes were still on the table, my body was about to give out from exhaustion, and I was covered in, well you can imagine. I called Ed to tell him the good news and then mention that not a single thing had gotten done and he came through as usual. "The calf is nursing Lisa. Right now, that's all that matters. Rest, have a coke, and I'll bring home pizza then help you with the evening horse feeding." How on earth did I luck out and find this man?

Later that night I was feeling quite proud of myself and he asked me why I never seemed to have more confidence around the farm. I really don't have an answer. I feel utterly useless most of the time and I'm not really sure why.

He talked with a guy at work who had run cattle with his stepfather while growing up and he said this is why so many people just hate having livestock. I can imagine. The idea of venturing out during calving season with 100 head or more and dealing with having to rope the calves while an angry mama, or bull, stood watching would squash all the fun right out of it. I can't imagine a farm wife back in the day hauling water to the house, cooking for who knows how many hands, and dealing with the issues around the farm while her husband worked in the fields all day. No wonder all the old timers I talked to always mention how hard farm life is. I'm beginning to get a small taste of it. We have nothing, nothing near the operation of what some folks had but I know what "too tired to sleep" means. There's been so many times that I'm scared to stop moving or sit down because I know I'll just fall asleep I'm so tired. I'm starting to understand that knowing look that country folks give city people when they talk about moving to the country with a far-away look of romance on their face. I was one. I figured it was all flowery meadows, playful livestock that all got along, sweet moments of birth that either went off without a hitch or Ed would deal with then fill me in later, and lush landscaping throughout the property. I'd be in the adorable old farmhouse baking bread while Ed tended the animals and came home to an, as usual, pristine home.

A couple years later I realize how silly that vision was. Animals fight, often to the death. Predators leave nasty presents for me often. We have much better luck growing weeds and the one time we tried to plant anything else I rode on the back of an open tractor for two full days getting so bruised I expected the domestic violence officer to show up any moment from someone thinking the worst. The wind is so powerful that it completely destroys any and all hope of maintaining a clean home -- even Ed acknowledges this. There are 20 acres of mud out here and every drop tries to find a way into my home on a daily basis. It usually wins. Chickens will clean up waste and keep the bugs down but you can forget gardening or landscaping the house. And don't even get me started on what goats can to to fences. You can have a business plan that depends on hay running $35/bale and within a year the drought drives the cost up to $100/bale leaving you rethinking the whole thing. And never in my life did I figure my day wouldn't be determined by my planner and sense of priorities but rather the weather and temperments of livestock.

Living in the country is hard. I mean hard. You can't explain it, you really can't. I think it's impossible to formulate into a logical reason other than simply, it's freaking hard.

But you know what? I feel more a member of the "community" that I ever have in my life. When I started calling the neighbors for calf advice the instant the women realized the situation they started offering their husbands cell phone numbers and said if I couldn't get it solved they'd send someone over. A friend was emailing and calling after checking with all the folks she worked with and offering lots of good advice - heck one of the guys even took a phone call from me because "just milk the cow" sounds good but I've never done it and the cow was kicking which means she didn't want me touching her there. He talked me through it and I actually did milk Moo just a bit this morning to make sure I could. And we have met people that truly understand the meaning of "help your neighbor" There's not a doubt in my mind that should something happen to Ed and a call went out I'd lose count of the number of people who would show up here to get me through a spell.

I don't think I could ever live in town again. And now it's me who's starting to give folks that knowing look when they talk about moving to the country. I used to be insulted by that look but I damn sure understand it better now.

It's a girl!

Sparky was born at 9:15 last night. She's all black with one small white patch on her private areas. Moo took to mothering like a champ and started her cleanup less than a minute after calving. I noticed this morning that Sparky wasn't nursing at all and so we moved them both into the large barn stall where I learned the problem - Moo backed away and kicked her when she tried to latch on. We backed her into a corner and bribed her with buckets of grain and a large hay pile. After letting out a startled cry the first time Sparky latched on she calmed down and let her drain all but one of her bag sections. Geez, for being as full as they were it didn't take but just a minute or two and they looked like deflated balloons. That picture's not very good but I was backed against a wall. I'll get a better one later.

I had checked on Moo a little before 9:00 when we were heading in from chores and saw her contracting, even pushing. We all got chairs and sat quietly outside the coop for the next half hour and got to see the entire birth. Thank heavens it went well because I'm not sure how the kids would have reacted had there been a problem. They were all just in awe of the calf! It was interesting that her hooves were neon white when she was born but by morning were totally black. I'd never heard of that.